Two Calls, Both Close

One. Mine.

Mamie: Oh, and if someone tells you you have to see The Island, tell them to STICK IT UP THEIR ASS!
Tata: That bad?
Mamie: By the end of the movie I was shouting your line. "This movie needs a fucking red pen!" When the movie got to two hours, I checked my pulse.
Tata: That's too bad. I like Scarlet Johanson.
Mamie: And who doesn't love Ewan McGregor? He was wearing a turtleneck! I think the perfect man would be wearing a turtleneck and no pants.
Tata: No, that's a toddler running from bathtime.
Mamie: Huh! Remember that time at your birthday party in that restaurant where everything was served on fire? I hate to say it but I feel like your mom looked when Crease pulled a thong with tags on it his from his pocket and said to her, "Hey Lucy, you left this at my place."


Two. Hers.

Mamie: I was accosted by Jehovah's Witnesses in disguise this morning when I came out of Dunkin Donuts.
Tata: Fooled by their fake mustaches, were you?
Mamie: I said, "Are you seriously trying to talk to people in the morning?! The new Watchtower is a magazine called Awake! Zealot freaks.
Tata: Imagine thinking you wanted to remain conscious!
Mamie: I was REALLY unhappy when the older one said, "I used to know your mother when she was a substitute teacher, back before she died."
Tata: That bitch! Did she know your mom after she died, too?
Mamie: I was stunned momentarily, long enough to hear the "we're not even talking about religion" line and for them to get the stupid newsprint booklet into my hand. All the front said was the title and a headline, "Skin Cancer: how to protect yourself." And yes, it was about religion. Not only did they waylay me on my way to work, but they lied.
Tata: Oh. My. God! You WERE fooled by their fake mustaches!