Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Dry, Dry, Dry

Larry, the little black cat bent on stealing your soul, is not shy about expressing his desires. They are fairly simple. He is quite impatient when I seem distracted from my purpose in life: meeting demands he issues in a variety of cartoon voices. First thing every morning, his enthusiasm is positively Le Peu.

Larry: At last, we are together! You are awake, and I shall woo you! Come with me to the Casbah.
Tata: How about the food bowl?
Larry: You see? It is as if we are one!

Ten minutes later, it's a different story.

Larry: Morning, Sam.
Tata: Morning, Ralph.

At this point, I'm warming up on my yoga mat. It's dark out and I don't turn on any lights. I might wake up and realize I'm exercising and we can't have that. No, I have to work out before I can talk me out of it so I have to be half-asleep. Sometimes this means I suddenly stop balancing and dozing to fend off an irate pussycat yelping like baby Stewie from Family Guy.

Larry: Vexing trollop! You have two hands and neither is petting me!
Tata: If I don't fight impending menopause you're going to end up a Barbie rug!
Larry: Perhaps my laser rifle will convince you to obey me. Blast! No opposable thumb. Prepare to feel my wrath!
Tata: You bit me!
Larry: I bit you yesterday, too. Did you learn?
Tata: Furball! Your days are numbered!

While I'm in the shower, he's Dudley Dooright. As I get dressed, he's Sylvester. After I put my shoes on, he makes a big show of losing interest in me completely.

Tata: 'Bye, Larry.
Larry: 'Bye...whoever you are.

Over a week ago, I dropped my lone potholder behind the stove. It took a few days to realize that if I leaned over the back and hooked the loop on my umbrella handle the potholder could be washed and hung up again. So I did. I didn't feel especially smart but I did feel less stupid. In the meantime, Georg mailed two giant potholders she sewed herself. I opened the package and skipped around the new apartment.

Tata: DESICCANT!

The packages say not to eat them so I don't. With Georg, you never know. Georg's talents extend far beyond those of most mortals. During any visit to her house, I will find at least five things she does effortlessly that I couldn't master after a lengthy apprenticeship.

Tata: Whatcha doin'?
Georg: Making croquembuche in the shape of Frank Zappa.
Tata: I hope that's a pastry bag, young lady!
Georg: Later, I'll spin straw into gold for the International Ladies' Garment Workers Union.
Tata: Does that...come with dental?

Larry has been limping since the rain started. Georg's gimpy cat has a heating pad. Taking my cue, I moved a cat pillow over to the radiator last night and Larry adopted it right away. Maybe he'll be more Pepe and less of a pill.

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