We've Got To Find A Way To Bring Some Lovin' Here Today

Tonight, the Science Channel re-reruns the remastered Cosmos. I'm exhausted from a long day of terrorizing the unsuspecting and caring for several of you mad charmers. If I get especially lucky, I might get to Nair my mustache. I've been so busy every pass by a mirror reminds me of Snidely Whiplash. Which also reminds me: what kind of insult is "Get a horse"?

This morning, my brilliant stepmommy Darla, two years younger than I am and twice as feisty, asked my opinion on Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee's bluntly titled Narnia represents everything that is most hateful about religion. I had to think it over while my co-workers rudely asked me university-related questions. Fortunately, someone came around the cubicle wall with giant leaves of paper so orange everyone who saw it recoiled, then touched it to see if the color stung.

It's a good thing Toynbee's throwing this hissy on the east side of the Atlantic, where it's less likely someone would burn a cross on her front yard for terming Jesus' resurrection "repugnant." If you can imagine it, people express themselves in public without fear of - like - ammo and extensive physical therapy. Still, I used to have that right, and no matter that sacrificial figures appear in the mythologies of every people on earth, I'm not sure I have that right in America now. In fact, I'm not even sure I have the simple right to vote. Are you?

Free speech, no matter how cranky or offensive, is one of our most important rights and we defend it by speaking freely until everyone becomes accustomed once again to the idea that dissent is patriotic. Plus, actual discussion is really good for our brains. Our brains like it! Ask 'em! Thus, no matter how you feel about ammo, Jesus, movies and Carl Sagan, your opinion matters.

So's your vote.

Please sign the petition


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