Friday, October 13, 2006

Love, Sister, It's Just A Kiss Away

I was standing in the store last night when in walked exactly what I needed: a tai chi teacher with a studio within walking distance of my apartment, and when I said, "It's as if I summoned you," he stuttered a lot. I understood. He was shocked by my great beauty, as so many are. For instance, my orthodontist loves me so much he says I need braces for another ten years. If he weren't absolutely adorable, I might cut his brake lines.

This morning, I walked to work but it was different because today I walked to work - for SCIENCE! Our story so far: summer and early autumn temperatures have permitted me to toss everything into a beachbag then slung across my back, and I've been walking about a mile or a mile and a half to the library. The bonus: a return trip eight hours later means I get some exercise twice a day. Joy! On today's episode: temperatures dropped overnight into the forties and what you may not know is I am a tremendous temperature coward. I hate the cold with a fiery passion; I fight the Frozen Menace with tenacious indoor coziness, preferably with marshmallows. So it was only with the greatest courage that I donned a scarf, mittens, my Sunday Go Ta Protest Anarak and furry vermillion ear muffs. I knew the terrors of Arctic exploration! I thought of Shackleton's harrowing ordeal in the polar pack ice. Then I walked to work. I was surprisingly comfortable. I don't know what all those dead sailors were complaining about.

Here, hold this -

Amendment XI
The judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another state, or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state.

That one was digging into spleen. I might need a real backpack soon, if I find out - for SCIENCE! - that temperatures in the thirties and forties are no impediment to walking to work. This one -

Amendment XII
The electors shall meet in their respective states and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President, and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate;--The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted;--the person having the greatest number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President. The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed, and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

- might've been a bit much for my back. I should've left that one at home, maybe. Oh, who are we kidding? I love any Constitutional amendment using the word devolve. Which reminds me: it's Eighties Friday on Altrok Radio, and sometimes a raving beauty like myself skips the rave and makes for the beautiful noise.

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