Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Three A.M. Eternal

Recently, I had a stern discussion with Me about our height. It is insufficient. For our weight, we should probably be closer to six feet tall, and height is way, way trickier to change. I've even considered weight loss by paring down my number personalities but we voted to strike if anyone was laid off. With the fatigue, the expenses and daft overeating, I feel I've drifted from what I want to do. I mean, besides eating. I have a positive gift for that.

In 2006, I:
1. replaced all my household paper products with recycled or cloth.
2. learned to bake bread. I am still a novice.
3. took up walking and now walk to and from work, weather permitting.

This represents progress. There were a few other projects, like knitting blankets for animal shelters and getting all my belongings out of moving boxes and installing cabinets. I liked the projects as an application of skills I already possessed but they didn't change me in any way except to give me more floor space. I love floor space. Then I fill it with some new project and my recycled toilet paper is put away, giving me new and different reasons to be cheerful. If you have children and you're not using the recycled, it's a lot like saying, "Fuck you, sweetheart, I'm too selfish to consider my contribution to the toxicity in which you'll muck about after I take the dirt nap." I have a grown daughter who wants to someday have children that don't set off Geiger counters. But whatever works for you.

I was concerned that if I instituted mondo life changes willy nilly I'd lose interest and change back, but so far, so good. Even so, I feel my progress is stalled. This led to a logical question - stop laughing! - progress toward what?

I don't know. A yoga studio is going up a bunny hop, skip and a jump from my humble abode, but planning to exercise in the future is not a direction and I want one. Let's hope inspiration arrives soon with a HELLO, I'M tag and the crappy handwriting says YOUR FUCKING PURPOSE ON EARTH.


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