And I Ride And I Ride

I have my hands full at home with the sick pussycat peeing everywhere, so I'll be blunt. Blunt-er. More blunt that usual. Do not mistake my refusal to touch an errant shrimp ring for virtue. I am not virtuous, but I am clear on where I end and where slimy marketing begins, and I have that luxury because I have nothing to sell. My career is not at stake when some dimwit notices me or doesn't, and neither is my self-worth waiting for someone to stare at me and calculate. Fuck that. It is important to understand I already know I don't need to be famous to create a body of work, I have and I will continue; the critic that matters is me. Currently, I'd pan me, though with one decent mssive I can win me back; but you know who should raise the bar? Colorado State lawmakers sniffing at losing all they can eat:

DENVER - One state lawmaker says he ate just one shrimp at a recent reception for fear of violating a strict new ethics law. Another says he sometimes has a bowl of cereal for dinner instead of the sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres he used to nibble at gatherings. There's no such thing as a free lunch at the Colorado Capitol since voters passed Amendment 41 last fall. Free breakfasts and evening receptions have vanished, too, in a cloud of confusion and jokes about exactly what is forbidden and what is allowed.

Dude, I hope that's tartar sauce on your lapel.

Amendment 41 bans lobbyists from giving any gifts, including meals, to lawmakers. Anyone else can give gifts up to $50 to lawmakers, other government workers, contractors and their families. Former lawmakers must also wait two years before returning to the Capitol to work as lobbyists. The National Conference of State Legislatures has called it the toughest ethics rule in the nation.

Hot dog, I want tough ethics rules - but someone's still mad about his tender wiener.

Republican Sen. Ken Kester of Las Animas - the lawmaker who said he sometimes has Life cereal for dinner - said meeting with lobbyists over lunch helped him understand the issues because it's impossible to read all of the hundreds of bills introduced each year. Like others, he was quick to say he never pledged a vote just because a meal was provided. Chuck Ford, a self-described "black hat" lobbyist who represents construction groups and the gambling town of Black Hawk, said meal breaks were the best time to talk to lawmakers because of their busy schedules. Having a lobbyist pay for that meal was a perk for lawmakers who make only $30,000 a year, he said. He recalled picking up a $500 bar tab for lawmakers because "I could afford it and they couldn't."

"The trend, what we call reform now, is toward making life miserable for everyone involved in politics," Ford said. "Politics is the way we get the job done and it works."

Oh, fuck you lengthwise, Mr. Ford. It doesn't take a genius to realize that just because something has always been done one icky way that it must ever be so - unless it's the Electric Slide. You heard me!

The inventor of the "Electric Slide," an iconic dance created in 1976, is fighting back against what he believes are copyright violations and, more importantly, examples of bad dancing.

Is it possible I liked the whiny lobbyist better than the litigious choreographer? Yahuh!

The 1998 Digital Millenium Copyright Act governs copyright infringement as well as technology whose purpose is to circumvent measures intended to protect copyrights. Under the DMCA, rights-holders can complain to services like YouTube that content uploaded by users infringes their copyrights.

But on the YouTube page Silver himself posted showing the Electric Slide, he wrote, "Any video that shows my choreography being done incorrectly is being removed. I don't want future generations having to learn it wrong and then relearn it as I am being faced with now because of certain sites and (people) that have been teaching it incorrectly and without my permission. That's the reason I (copyrighted) it in the first place."

What a dick!

"I realize that this incorrect version of my choreography has been around for some 27 years," Silver wrote, "and it seems pointless to try and correct it at this time but because of the legal ramifications, my lawyers have suggested that I take this approach."

This is all a tremendous yawnfest, except for one little nugget of corn-flecked bullshit.

[Silver] also complained that actors in those movies also didn't do the dance right. In fact, of several movies mentioned, surprisingly, Silver said only Joe Pesci, best known for his Oscar-winning role in the gangster classic Goodfellas, performed the dance correctly in the decidedly lesser-known film, The Super.

So we're back to the damn shrimp ring and selfish desires. Just because it's always been that icky way doesn't mean it must ever be so - not if we refuse to bite.