Buy the Product And Never Use It

My friend Dom says the best thing I've heard in weeks.

Dom: Come to my house Wednesday night for dinner.
Tata: Oh, I don't know. I'm tired. I probably have to work. I am randomly lame.
Dom: Dinner is at 5. If you are not here by 6, I will come to your house and kick your ass with a lamb roast, which we will then eat.

Oh, he'd do it.

Tata: Dinner it is, then. I'll wear something stuffing-proof.