Thursday, March 15, 2007

In A Coat He Borrowed From James Dean

Tata: As you know, my bathroom is full of products and I've been away from them a week and a half.
Dad: Good Lord! You're parching!
Tata: Exactly, so Dara and I went to the giant drugstore in Staunton.
Dad: Did they have what you were looking for?
Tata: Sort of. I've lost a little weight since I got here through a program of stress starvation and inspired sloth, so the pants that fit me when she and I left the house stretched a little during the drive and by the time we got to the drugstore, they were humongous.
Dad: Oops.
Tata: When I got out of the car, I sad, "Dara, our situation is critical. These pants are far too large for my rump and I lack a belt. If they should fall off, it is your job to play Point & Laugh. Further, if you do not snap a picture, Daria and Todd will never forgive you."
Dad: [laughing hysterically]
Tata: But that's not the end of it because I'd decided to dress like a grownup, which is always a mistake, and worn heels even though your driveway is gravel. So I said, "Further, if my heel gets caught in the cuff of these oversized pants, it is incumbent upon you to laugh hysterically when my face hits the floor. Can you do it?"
Dad: [laughing more hysterically]
Tata: So she was ready.
Dara: I had my camera phone in my hand the whole time.
Tata: I found this excellent shade of Dirty Whore Red nail polish I'm not displeased with, and we picked up a whole bunch of other things women need away from home for more than a week.
Dad: Like what? I've known a few women in my time...
Tata: Like tomorrow, your beautiful daughters are gonna Nair their mustaches.


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