This Is For the Discotheque

Saturday afternoon, I found my sister Corinne staring at the shelves in the family toy store, conversing with a teenager whose resemblance to the fair Georg was startling. The teenager was an acquaintance of Corinne's, which was news to me. The question at hand: birthday party, present, another teenage girl nobody really knew well. Suggest a gift. Ready....go. I made a long, long list.

Block of Velveeta. Dryer lint. A pineapple. A bag of cat litter. All the colors of PlayDoh conveniently pre-mixed, which would save lots of time. Pot pourri and a broom - for parades. Like on Fractured Fairy Tales. Safety matches. You could need those! A snow shovel. It's, like, an investment. For an hour, I babbled about gifts because that's what stores are for when I'm in them. The whole time I was thinking about this Barry and Levon bit, because the best gift I ever got was in three huge Korvette's bags: enough boxes to make 240 lbs. of banana pudding.

Aw yeah.

Some things, kids have got to discover for themselves.