Disco Hotspots Hold No Charm For You

Sunday, Pete was in the kitchen, spraypainting the radiator silver, while I re-tied the beans. Beans grow like you wouldn't believe unless you've grown beans and even then they can surprise you. So there I was: folded in half and playing with string.

I straightened my back for a stretch and noticed a neighbor launching himself down his back steps with a box containing a brand new push mower and headphones. The lawns on Pete's block could be trimmed with an erratic weed whacker so I was excited to see this display of common sense. Then I went back to tying up the beans. A short while later, a song echoed through the breezy backyards.

IT WAS THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT -

It does one's sinuses no good whatsoever to stifle a guffaw while upside down.

TELLING ME WHAT YOUR HEART MEANT -

Pete stepped out onto his porch, where he could see the neighbor warbling unsteadily at the tops of his lungs. Pete stared, obviously very happy.

THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT SHOWED IN YOUR EYES!

After a few minutes, Pete decided to go caulk Rhode Island or something. I was weeding and tying up more beans. Fortunately, we have a lot of beans because I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

YOU'RE LEAVING NOW THERE'S NO DISGUISING IT -

Okay, so maybe I could have worked a little faster.

IT REALLY COMES AS NO SURPRISE TO FIND THAT YOU PLANNED IT ALL ALONG!

Every so often, the neighbor's young, pregnant wife steps out onto her porch, rolls her eyes and goes back inside. I am positively trembling with joy. Finally, she shouts over the locally unheard The Very Best of Asia, "IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING'S DYING OUT HERE."

In my own defense, I stood up to keep from falling down, but in doing so, made myself visible from the other side of the garden. Then I howled. She said, "THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU," and went back inside in a huff. After a minute, I went back to what I was doing, but I wasn't the only one.

SOLE SURVIVOR! SOLE SURVIVOR! SOLITARY FIGHTER!

I love that guy.