Cannot Rest, We Cannot Rest
I love Quakers. They're full of interesting ideas about non-violent interaction with the world, which is much tougher than it seems, especially if you drive and would like nothing better than to knock that MADD Mother in the noggin.
Big Guy: Ta, how can non-violence be tough? Tough guys are tough! It's tough to put on tights and crack someone's coconut!
Tata: No, I'm sorry. You've mistaken tough for sexually repressed.
Big Guy: Come on! I want pointed missiles and hard targets and men in uniform.
Tata: My friend, you are gay as Christmas.
Speaking of stocking stuffers: topping my list is a gift that gives and gives, and it came to me through the Quaker ladies' grapevine. Yes, there is one. They do too drink wine, I've seen 'em, duh!
They call each other that, and they seem to mean it. I KNOW! What's wrong with them?
We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket, but the joke has really been on us, hasn't it? Are you as sick in your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President of the United States ?
Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for the Vice Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10 million dollars. Some of you may already be supporting the Obama campaign financially; others of you may still be a little honked off over the primaries. None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection, especially on her positions on women's issues. So, if you feel you can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the following fiendishly brilliant alternative?
Make a donation to Planned Parenthood or NARAL- Pro Choice In Sarah Palin's name. And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor. Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood and NARAL websites
You'll need to fill in the address to let PP/NARAL know where to send the 'in Sarah Palin's honor' card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is:
McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
Arlington , VA 22202
I haven't felt this kind of fiery, wicked desire to Do Good since the first time I zipped up a red sequinned dress to emcee a benefit show, but don't think mad advocacy is solely the province of women. Sometimes a bunch of insomniac boys can jack up a double-parked bandwagon.
Tata: That thing the town did with the bags was absolute genius.
Committee Lady: What bags? The town didn't do anything with bags.
Tata: It wasn't the town?
Committee Lady: The town didn't do what?
Tata: On the South side a few months ago we all found tote bags hanging from our doorknobs. Not a word, nothing. People just picked them up and started taking them to the grocery store. If you give them a better way to do something people adapt.
Committee Lady: That wasn't the town.
Tata: Huh. You'd think the town that positively gibbers about being green would have.
Turns out these guys sat up all night in the terrifying Somerset Diner with monstrous piles of french fries and dreamed up a scheme. I'm sure they meant to or mean to play other eco-pranks on the small town but I haven't seen any. In any case, it's genius.
Friends - I know, but why not? - it's time to pull up a chair and lay out the funny. But, you know, all peaceful-like.