Paint the Sky Upon the Ceiling

Bob made a good point in comments: the composter wasn't cheap. Let's not laugh that off. As people of modest means and vivid imaginations, we wouldn't have had the cash except for two little things. One: moving afforded us a little found money because we saved like wild animals. Two: when I spend more than $100 at a time, I feel faint. Pete and I talked over what the property's needs might be, and I shopped carefully. Very carefully. More carefully than that. The result: a handful of really good prices on the method and model I wanted more than shiny shiny jewels, and we bought the one with the best shipping. It's an investment in making the crappy pulverized shale into better soil, and putting our money where our mouths are, ecologically. That is an image you should immediately scrub from your brain pan.

The house is old and has other needs, too. For instance, Pete's climbing into a wall today to stuff insulation into a crevice I wouldn't touch without a hazmat suit and an Iditarod dog, but that's me. And speaking of me, I can't figure out how to carpet stairs without a powerpoint presentation.

Tata: This is the fourth store we've been to and we can't seem to find square throw rugs. Where are they?
Department Manager: That section over there has throw rugs.
Tata: That's true, but I want a square rug. Do you have those?
Department Manager: Yes.
Tata: Where are they?
Department Manager: Over there with the carpeting.
Tata: No. I don't want carpeting. I have a landing on a staircase. It's about 36"x36" and I want to put a little throw rug on it.
Department Manager: You can buy those online.
Tata: I'm in your store right now. I'd like to buy it, take it home and put it on my floor today, preferably so I can jump up and down on it and make little noise. Also: my cats should enjoy the fluffy warmth and shed all over it.
Department Manager: What you need to do is go to a carpet specialty store where they do binding and you can buy a custom carpet and they'll do the binding and then you can have the carpet but we don't have that here and I can't help you.

If I turn and look at Pete, he will tell the Department Manager that she should go shag herself, not to mention Berber and Scotchguard, and I just can't picture myself getting the bum's rush at Lowe's before the cocktail hour.

Tata: Thank you. Pete, dahhhhlink, we need friction tape, possibly all of it.
Pete: She didn't hear a word you said.
Tata: Well, I used several at the same time. So: no. But let's not dwell, when I have a Buy One, Get One Free coupon for Febreze! During the season when everyone stays home and farts, our house will smell delightful and our cats will be perplexed...