Heard We Haven't Been

DON'T LAUGH!

Man: I can't believe this! Can you get the cream out of the can after someone uses it for whippits?
Pete & Tata: No.
Man: While my daughter was in the shower, the boys sniffed out all the gas. Feel this!

He hands Pete the can. Pete shakes it and hands it to me. That guy is talking a blue streak. I shake the can. It's light, all the pressure's gone and the contents sound liquid. Someone's gonna get it!

Man: How can you tell what they did? Can you look at their pupils and see?
Tata: After about a minute the buzz disappears.
Man: Because one of them is upstairs in sunglasses.
Tata: Well, it is 8:45 p.m. Who could blame him?
Man: I'm really mad! They wouldn't do this at their mother's house.

He is also, by the way, on the phone with his girlfriend.

Man: Tata says we can't look at them and tell. (To us) What about the cream? How do I get that out?
Pete: Nope.
Tata: It's garbage, dude.
Man: I can't - like - open it somehow and re-whip the cream?
Pete & Tata: Noooooooooo.
Man: Their mother's going to be seriously pissed. Can you believe this?
Pete: I used to have a tank of nitrous as tall as your son.
Tata: My friends and I tooled around town with the Executive Whippit Travel Kit. I couldn't be mad about this if I tried.
Man: How many brain cells do you think they killed?
Pete: Oh, about twenty martinis' worth. Don't tell their mother.
Man: I wouldn't if they'd just stop lying about it.
Tata: Sure, because that works out well for kids.
Man: They keep saying it was like that. Could it have been like that?
Tata: Look, I was a bad kid. I have given every excuse and I've heard every excuse.
Man: Tata says she was a bad kid and gave every excuse. What about Tiffy's strawberries?

He keeps talking as he walks away.

Tata: He's mad about the wrong things.
Pete: Yeah. He's not right. More wine?