Everything I Have In My Hands

The lengthy episode with the car - while amusing - has become expensive, inconvenient and frustrating. This morning, AAA instructed me to wait for the tow truck with my AAA card and my car's documents in hand. The truck driver put my car up on the rig. I asked if he wanted to see my documents, but he demurred: everything he needed was on his computer. As he drove away, I looked at the documents in my hand and thought, 'Huh. That's going to come up in conversation,' and the mechanic called to ask did I, by any chance, have them? If I weren't vain to the very core of my being, I'd consider sticking my head in the oven. But I won't: imagine compounding a shittastic day with split ends.

Exactly. I could be driven to suicide, but not if it messes up my hair. That's too much commitment.