The Softly Spoken Magic Spell

Miss Sasha called me up to blab but I was napping.

Miss Sasha: Mommy! Are you awake?
Tata: Gnvpj wpgh dphp cpape...
Miss Sasha: You're asleep. Cluck like a chicken!
Tata: Cluck...
Miss Sasha: Tell me I'm the most beee-yoo-tiful girl in all the land!
Tata: Mmmm...pretty...bok bok...
Miss Sasha: Give me power of attorney!
Tata: Pressing your luck zzzzzz...
Miss Sasha: I'll call back.

This morning, I remembered hearing her voice in my sleep. That can only mean one of two things: either she has news or I'm on my way to a nursing home. I leave a message at a nice, uncomfortable hour.

Tata: Good morning, sweetheart! The birds aren't up yet so I thought you'd want to hear from me. Call me back or I leave my vast fortune to a pack of stray cats. Kiss kiss!

My phone rings ten minutes later so I know it's good news and not that she's re-written my Will with disappearing ink. Which she will if genes have anything to do with it. In the meantime, our cheeky ingenue is so overjoyed it's hard to hear what she's blabbing.

Miss Sasha: So blab blab and then he blab blab so I said, "You're going to need a blab blab. Let's go shopping." Then we did and picked out a blab blab blab and he asked blab blab blab blab blab and said, "If not, I throw you into the Everglades with the alligators." I said, "Blab blab, that is kind of blab."
Tata: That is AWESOME! I am SO HAPPY!
Miss Sasha: Me, too!
Tata: I have to hang up on you now so I can destroy the dreams of publishers everywhere!
Miss Sasha: Your cruelty is inspirational. Love you, Mommy!
Tata: I love you, too!

Hours pass. I'm much too selfish to dwell on other people's good news so I forget all about the phone calls. Miss Sasha calls again, a note of panic in her voice.

Miss Sasha: Mommy! Are you awake?
Tata: Yup. Whatcha want?
Miss Sasha: It's a secret! No-blab blab until no-blab gets no-blab blab blab and tells no-blab blab no-blab's self. Did you tell anybody?
Tata: No, darling, I didn't tell anybody.
Miss Sasha: Mommy!
Tata: I didn't tell anyone.
Miss Sasha: Mommy!
Tata: Didn't know it was a secret but I blabbed to no one.
Miss Sasha: Did you call no-blab?
Tata: I didn't!
Miss Sasha: Okay.
Tata: I thought about blogging...
Miss Sasha: No! Not until no-blab no-blab blabs to no-blab! Probably on Monday.
Tata: You expect me to keep a secret over an entire weekend?
Miss Sasha: Yes!
Tata: It's a good thing three of my four sisters went to Los Angeles today. I can't even blab blab blab blab by accident.
Miss Sasha: Let's put it this way: if you blab, I'll leave comments that'll snap your butt like a wet towel.
Tata: That's an excellent comic threat. Mommy's so proud!