Young To Walk Him Around

Courtesy of the intrepid Suzette, we find that topaz and drusy are not just Topaz and Drusy, glamorkittens, they're also jewelry.

Unfortunately, it's a little hideous.

Yes, I remember when pothead baubles appealed to me. Well, sort of. That hazy recollection is part and parcel of a distant, THC-soaked epoch in which, like the Pleistocene, feathers rocked. I mean, it's not as if we're all busy rewriting our gloriously disastrous pasts, right? So that still-fragrant roachclip collection you're concealing from your biographers - dude, bust it out. Meanwhile, at the eighties party for my teenaged sister, I happened to be wearing the ginchiest blue earring with a pink flamingo logo, and had this conversation several times.

Cousin It Girl: That is THE cutest thing! Where's the other one?
Tata: There's only one. We were all about asymmetry.
Cousin It Girl: Love that pink flamingo! What's that blue pillowy thing?
Tata: It's a condom.
Cousin It Girl: A condom? Why would you have a condom?
Tata: Sex was invented in 1994 so before that we had condoms for emergency water balloon fights.
Cousin It Girl: That is ...quite... an accessory.
Tata: Sure, sweetie, and so much more hygienic than keeping it in your wallet.
Cousin It Girl: That's older than my wallet.
Tata: Sweetie, you shouldn't use condoms older than your wallet.
Auntie InExcelsisDeo: Or your children.

Recently, I have taken terrible pictures of the kitten princesses, mostly because they move with the speed of light but also because when they're doing something adorable this adorable thing takes place on my lap. Yesterday, a kitty jumped into my lap and insisted on a vigorous scritching. This is not unusual but about a minute later I realized the pushy pussycat on my lap was not Drusy but Topaz. I can't tell you how startled I was as Topaz, who detests leaving the ground except to fly through the air, preferably to break something, leapt about demanding a thorough ear scratching, meaty treats and car keys. Naturally, I googled.

I found a bunch of "treasures" someone will no doubt discover in Gramma's jewelry stash and use as proof that she should no longer wield credit cards. Then: other jewelry designers combine topaz and drusy in more attractive ensembles. I don't hate this bracelet, though I think I'm a few mumus away from my Mrs. Roper Years. On the other hand: I should talk. Pink flamingos. Sheesh.