Women Stand Around

Sometimes, I forget to shut up. My office is populated by people of all stripes over the voting age. One is very young and gives off the factory scent of New Co-Worker.

Tata: Whatcha doin'?
Kim: Poking holes in a plastic lid with a bendy plastic fork.
Tata: Wouldn't you enjoy using scissors?
Kim: I'd have to clean the scissors.
Tata: That's vandalizing ancient state property! You'll use those scissors rust and all, young lady.
Kim: What's for lunch?
Tata: Soup, though today I crave grilled cheese.
Kim: They make grilled cheese at the student center.
Tata: I avoid going over there. I meet people I'd prefer not to. Dated the whole town, you know.
Kim: You could make grilled cheese in the microwave.
Tata: I...no.
Kim: But if you went across the street you could get one of those delicious cookies at Au Bon Pain.
Tata: I bake my own at home and so could you.
Kim: Our oven died kind of a slow death and we never replaced it. It was from the sixties.
Tata: So am I. Do you have a toaster oven?
Kim: No.
Tata: What?
Kim: Sometimes I boil something on the stove.
Tata: How does your family cook?
Kim: We don't.
Tata: (Nervous now) I'm sorry, what do you eat?
Kim: Microwaveable stuff and takeout.
Tata: That's a very expensive way to live.

Was that MY mouth? Is it finally SHUT?

Kim: Sometimes my dad makes salads. I guess.
Tata: Salads are delicious. You can use all kinds of vegetables.
Kim: I don't really like vegetables.

Damn it, I'm about to talk again. I can tell!

Tata: They're so easy to prepare!
Kim: Like, what? Broccoli or asparagus? I had them once. I wouldn't recommend them.

The hits just keep on coming!

Tata: You had broccoli once?
Kim: I hope my dad's home tonight so he can help me make a salad for tomorrow's picnic.

I snap. Not only do I snap, I really snap. I forget this is my co-worker I see every day and I draw breath to ask why in glamorous tarnation a college graduate needs assistance tearing lettuce when suddenly the microwave beeps and my soup within steams. The spell is broken and I exhale. She is uncrushed. Turning, I retrieve my soup and promise myself I will never again mention food to this person.

Then I eat soup filled with delicious carrots, celery, broccoli, tomatoes, fennel and onions. Whew! That was close.