Lost My Harmonica, Albert

You remember Topaz, don't you? She of the brilliant orange eyes and prickly disposition? I tell her every day I couldn't love her more or I would asplode, and that is probably true, and who would mop? Topaz more than the other cats acts like a human person, as opposed to a cat person, which is to say people who are disguised as cats. Unfortunately for us, the kind of person Topaz has most resembled for the last few weeks is a wretched, angry teenage girl, complete with screaming and recriminations. Omigod, she is SO GROUNDED.

Days before the kitten arrived, Drusy was in a mood. The girls were fighting and I was tearing my hair out. Then we got the kitten and despite safety precautions, the level of kitty hysteria bordered on intolerable. Then the fire went out of Drusy's tantrum and the whole house calmed down. Drusy plays with Topaz sometimes and with the kitten sometimes, and this is good for everyone because all the cats want to play. Except Topaz, who keeps telling us, Jan Brady-like, that she's much too mature now to play, which reminds me of high school and the Monteglio sisters, who hated each other so much they cut each other's hair at night, and, if you can believe it, sliced up their Styx posters. I mean, how could you?

For the most part, the kitten is sweetly affectionate and even tempered - mostly. You can't tell from pictures because we have a hard time getting the cats into the same frame without lascerations, but the kitten weighs now between 10 or 11 lbs., while Topaz is probably 8 at the most, and lanky Drusy feels to me like she might be down to 6.5. If Drusy's fur weren't vibrantly shiny and she weren't playing, we'd be at the vet's office in a flash, but it is and we're not. The other day, I awoke from my nap nose-to-tiny-nose with Drusy, which meant to me that the worst of feline roller derby was over and we were lovey-dovey again. For now, the house is full of lovely cat people and the stampeding of tiny feet, which constitutes relative peace. I can't wait until Topaz wakes up in a pile with the kitten and doesn't try to Zorro her way out.