Sunday, September 18, 2005

Not Since the Restraining Order, No...

Miss Sasha, our Ambassador to the Quirky Republic of Florida, reports that our family is not alone in its belief in violence-based peacemaking. Evidently, fear stalked the duck- and mouse-infested streets of Orlando - but hoorah! No longer will theme park animal characters terrorize our off-duty corrections officers!

And speaking of stupidity, Weekend Today in New York mentioned in passing - I've been awake for NO REASON since 6:30 this morning - that Mayor Bloomberg offered shelter for "1000 families or individuals"* after Hurricane Katrina. FEMA apparently wasn't enthusiastic about the offer. Survivors expressed fearfulness about moving so far and what they would find "in the big city."* You could almost hear the po' white trash. I wish I could tell you what was said after that but I was too busy performing CPR on myself.

Pardon me. Those who were frightened of the Big City should've been shipped like cattle and their ancestors to the Lower East Side. They've already lost everything. Let's help them conquer their irrational fears!

*Yes, that's what the reporter said. No, I'm not fucking lying. What a mouth on you!


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